Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize