I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize