I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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