I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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