I heard we made out
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
