I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
