He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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