There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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