The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
