There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
