I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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