Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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