the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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