strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
