I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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