Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
