Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
