I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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