apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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