He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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