I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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