yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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