when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize