I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
