it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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