he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Pants are for mortals
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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