please come you make the beer taste better
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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