Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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