I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize