what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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