She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
