"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
