If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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