My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
