i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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