Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
