i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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