Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
