you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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