she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
