I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
