people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I bet he comes in French.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize