remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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