If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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