its not stalking. its research.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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