Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize