thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
