dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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