dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
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