it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
