Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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