I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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