We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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