your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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