You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You ruined the universe
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
