Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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