I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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