you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
