Kiss
Puke
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
