I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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