His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
